


Imagining. Seeing. Within Reach.

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Ritual Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-06
Updated: 2007-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 17:06:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney can't stop fantasizing about Sheppard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Imagining

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Merry Month of Masturbation 2007.

"Sheppard!"

Sweat was gathering on Rodney's upper lip as he ground out the name.

He was kneeling on his bed, one hand firmly gripping his hard cock, while the other held the dildo in place deep inside him.

He was moving up and down on it, moaning and then biting his lip.

It was the only concession to his dignity that he didn't actually say out loud the words that ran in his mind as a soundtrack to the porn in his head. Things like "You're in so deep", "Harder, god, please, harder!" or "Yes, so good".

Instead he fucked himself on a hard piece of plastic, imagining it was a hot, fleshy cock. His hand wasn't moving at the moment. He didn't want to come too soon. The Sheppard in his mind wouldn't allow it. He wanted to fuck Rodney some more, push into him hard so that Rodney would still feel it the next day and not forget what Sheppard was doing to him.

As if Rodney could.

He tried to push the thoughts away, the whispers in his head that told him how pathetic he was, lusting after his team mate, fantasizing about things he could never have.

"Sheppard," he said again, drowning out the voice in his mind.

He started jacking himself off. Quick, hard strokes, his grip almost too firm to be pleasurable. But Sheppard insisted.

Rodney threw back his head on an imaginary shoulder.

When he heard Sheppard's voice whispering in his ear, so real that he almost felt the warmth of his breath, "Come for me," he did.

He almost drew blood, biting his lip, but he managed not to shout, "John."


	2. Seeing

Rodney hated rituals. It was never ever a good thing when they were asked to perform a ritual.

At best is was a boring waste of time. At worst it involved blood or sacrificing things that he liked just fine as they were now, thank you very much. Mostly though they were humiliating.

This one was one of the latter ones. In fact it might be the most humiliating thing they'd ever been asked to do. And they were only willing to go along with it because they had very good reasons to believe that the "fertility stone" of the natives of P3X-851 was in fact a ZPM.

The idea of a ZPM would normally be enough to overlook any act of humiliation that could be heaped upon them, but this was different. He was minutes away from holding a precious fully charged ZPM in his hands, but all he could think about was how they had agreed to perform a fertility ritual as a replacement for the stone.

He was going to see Sheppard's dick.

Well, he'd seen it before. Short glimpses in the shower and when Sheppard was injured. But when they were showering Rodney had to concentrate so much on not thinking about naked John that he couldn't enjoy it and those injuries where Carson didn't care about decency were so serious that Sheppard's nudity was the furthest thing from his mind.

Now though was a completely different situation.

Ronon, Sheppard, and Rodney were kneeling along the edge of a long basin, which would capture their essence to appease the gods and bless them with fertility. Or put less poetically, they were going to jerk off into a pool.

The eldest had given the sign that they could start, but neither of them moved. Rodney risked a look over towards Sheppard. Behind him, he could see that Ronon was also looking at him, apparently waiting for Sheppard to give the go ahead.

Sheppard stared ahead of them, not moving, and Rodney thought he was just going to get up and tell them it wasn't worth it. 

Part of him wanted to agree and support Sheppard in that decision. Nothing was worth giving up their dignity. But there was the scientist in him that just screamed, "ZPM! Possibly fully charged!"

And not as loud, but equally insistent was the little voice in his head that he didn't dare name, which simply said, "Please, please, please, let me hear and see Sheppard come this once in my life."

Sheppard seemed to agree with voices two and three, because he began unbuttoning his pants and pulled out his dick.

Rodney was vaguely aware of Ronon doing the same, but his eyes were fixed on Sheppard's hand as it started stroking his dick. Realizing what he was doing, Rodney snapped his head forward and undid his own pants.

He started stroking, almost absentmindedly, only thinking about how long he'd have to look away before he could steal another glance and wondering if Sheppard would be hard by then.

Rodney was still pretty soft himself. His dick was so trained on Rodney thinking "Don't get hard now!" when they were in public that it didn't quite get that it wasn't just okay now, but actually desired.

The whole not getting hard in public thing stopped being a problem however at the first little whimper Sheppard made. Rodney couldn't help it. He risked a glance over to John.

What he saw made him instantly hard. Sheppard's cock was glorious. Hard and big, but not monstrously so. It was exactly the right size to get Rodney on his knees to suck him or be fucked or anything that Sheppard could ask from him.

The nagging little voice was gearing up for a rant on how pathetic he was, but he mentally hushed it. This was the only time he'd ever get to have sex with Sheppard, even if it wasn't actually _with_ him. In any case he'd take what he could get from this.

And what he got was the sight of Sheppard widening his stance a bit and beginning little thrusts of his hips, fucking into his moving fist.

Rodney's own hand was moving up and down on his erection at a fast pace. He knew he was staring again and forced himself to look away.

It was monumentally unfair that he was just a few feet away from Sheppard and couldn't look his fill, so he closed his eyes and listened instead. Three hands moving on three hard cocks, but what he wanted to hear was the sounds that Sheppard made, the little hitches of his breath, that sound in the back of his throat that wasn't quite a moan.

He wished he could get closer, feel Sheppard's breath in his ear, on his skin, wished he could touch Sheppard anywhere and everywhere.

Suddenly he heard a deep groan from beyond Sheppard and the splattering sound as semen hit the water in the pool. Rodney opened his eyes and saw that Sheppard had turned his head towards Ronon.

"Can I get up now?" Ronon asked dispassionately for someone who'd just gotten off.

"Of course," the eldest answered, apparently delighted with Ronon's offering in the ritual.

Sheppard turned his head back and over to Rodney. Their gazes met and Rodney tried to burn it into his mind, this glimpse into what it would be like to look Sheppard in the eye while they had sex.

Any moment now Sheppard would turn his head back and Rodney would take in every second that he was granted. He was still jerking himself off in steady strokes and he could see out of the corner of his eye that Sheppard was doing the same.

Rodney was so concentrating on every little feature on Sheppard's face, the way his eyes were slightly closed, the way his jaw clenched, the way his nostrils flared from breathing, that it took a while until he noticed that Sheppard wasn't looking away.

He nearly came then and there. Sheppard was watching him. While they were having sex. His thoughts were a whirlwind of "Why?" and "Has he watched Ronon until he came, too?", but eventually it settled on "Please let me watch him in the eye when he comes."

Rodney actually reduced the pressure on his cock, making the the strokes lighter, because he wanted to, _needed_ to wait until Sheppard had come.

It happened shortly after. Sheppard groaned and convulsed and Rodney tore his gaze from the wide-eyed look to see Sheppard's come spurting from his cock.

But what made him come too, and what made him look back at Sheppard's face wasn't that. It was the quiet whimper of "Rodney" that dropped from John's mouth as he exhaled.


	3. Within Reach

They hardly ever had to stay over night off world. Mostly the stargate was central to trading and within walking distance to the village. And if it wasn't they took the puddlejumper.

Unfortunately the stargate on P3M-851 had either been moved to a building or a building had been erected around it. Either way, the puddlejumper wasn't an option to check out the promising energy signals a day's walk from the gate away.

Sheppard had suggested to requisition motorbikes with a frankly scary gleam in his eyes. Elizabeth's answer had amounted to a diplomatic version of "Nice Try".

Which was how Rodney ended up in a tent with Sheppard.

Sheppard had asked Teyla whom she'd want to share hers with. Rodney had never seen Ronon look so smug. He was offended even though he liked this arrangement much better. Or at least he thought he did. He wasn't so sure now.

Because now he was lying next to Sheppard and painfully aware that he'd just have to turn around and reach out...

They hadn't talked after performing the "fertility ritual". The days after getting the ZPM had been extremely busy for Rodney, but even so he'd looked out for a sign, any sign, but Sheppard had neither avoided him nor approached him. So eventually Rodney had to accept that nothing had changed.

Well, nothing but his fantasies.

He had memories now, as reference, of John's hard cock, of the look on his face when he came, and mostly the way his lips parted when he said Rodney's name afterwards. Or in his fantasies before or during.

He fantasized a lot about sex with John, which in itself wasn't new, but the running commentary in his head, calling him all kinds of names for his fantasies had been joined by another voice. A voice that insisted that Sheppard wanted this too, that if Rodney wanted him, he'd just had to reach out and take him.

He tried to ignore this new voice just as he did with the old one, because Sheppard hadn't given him _any_ sign that he wanted more. Only it wasn't even more, because in truth nothing had happened. They'd simply been forced to perform a sex ritual as part of a mission. So he just kept masturbating, thinking about John, but he felt better about it these days. Even if the new taunting voice was its own brand of torture.

It was the torture that he was experiencing now. The treacherous feeling that all that he wanted was within reach. It was so tempting to throw caution to the wind and just go for it, but Rodney had survived this long because he was good at risk analysis.

Making a move on Sheppard wouldn't be so much taking a chance as hoping against hope or a severe case of wishful thinking. And it wasn't as if there was nothing to lose. So masturbation would have to be enough.

Unfortunately his dick either didn't understand that masturbation right _now_ would defy the purpose of keeping his feelings under wraps or it didn't care. Or maybe it was just confusing this with a very realistic fantasy. Either way it refused to stand down until Rodney gave up in frustration and took matters into his hand as quietly as he could.

Fortunately he'd been debating with himself for quite some time. He had tried to think of various unappealing sights, sounds and smells, none of which had diminished his erection. He was achingly hard and unable to really concentrate on anything but the fact that John lay right next to him. But at least it had bought him time, and if the soft regular breathing was any indication, Sheppard might actually be asleep by now.

Rodney started stroking himself, slowly and quietly, so that even if Sheppard had a moment of lucidity he wouldn't notice anything untoward, since Rodney was lying with his back to him. This was drawing things out even longer, but after a while he settled into it, fantasizing about John pushing him over onto his stomach and then pushing into him. Or of a hand reaching suddenly around and joining Rodney's on his dick.

If he hadn't been too afraid that Sheppard might wake up, he would have turned around and watched him while he jerked off. It had been wonderful the one and only time that he'd come while laying eyes on John.

He sighed softly at the memory, then, realizing what he'd done, froze. He held his breath, listening for any sign that Sheppard had woken up. There was none. There was nothing in fact, not even the soft breathing of before. When Rodney couldn't hold his breath any longer he risked a look over his shoulder.

Sheppard was awake and looking at him, one hand curled around his own hard cock.

Rodney gulped in a huge breath. His brain must have short-circuited, because suddenly there was nothing but an almost physical force trying to push him forward to take that cock in his mouth. But he restrained himself and closed his eyes, not sure if he would be able to resist when faced with it for longer.

He could still see it in his mind though, so close, so hot. He could feel John's presence even with closed eyes. When he heard some movement next to him, he opened them again, only to be faced with John jerking himself off. Rodney nearly came on the spot.

The need to reach out and touch him was back, but instead he looked up to John's face. John was watching him intently. It was okay.

Rodney relaxed enough to roll onto his back, hand still around his dick. John's eyes traveled down to where Rodney started to stroke himself again and then back up to his face. Rodney did the same, looking from John's face down to where his shirt was bunched up and then further down to his cock, held firmly in his hand.

They jerked off together, watching each other, somehow getting in sync, matching their strokes, making it terribly easy for Rodney to imagine that it was _one_ motion, John inside of him or he inside John.

That thought, along with doing this with John, so close that their arms nearly touched, their smell mingling just like their soft panting, pushed Rodney over the edge and he came with a small moan, splattering come on his shirt in several spurts.

He could see John speeding up and then tensing as he came too. Rodney wanted to lick John's semen off his belly and dick. When his gaze turned to John's face, John was looking at Rodney.

They kept watching each other as their breath evened out and Rodney could feel the two voices in his head gearing up for their respective performance.

But John spoke first.

"So?"

The word was casual and maybe it was meant to sound like that too, but looking John in the eye, Rodney heard something else entirely. He heard the tension of someone who'd fantasized about this, but hadn't dared to act on it, someone who'd waited for a sign and not getting one hadn't dared to take the risk to reveal himself. He saw someone who wanted badly to reach out take what he wanted, but needed a safety net to fall back onto, so that he wouldn't lose everything in case he failed. He saw everything that he'd felt in the last months, maybe years.

"Yeah," he simply said and leaned forward to kiss John.

He didn't even panic, when John froze. And he wasn't disappointed because after a moment he could feel John relaxing and melting into the kiss. His whole body moved towards Rodney, needing to get closer and Rodney's body agreed and moved too, seeking contact with John's.

Their soft dicks met as their bodies wrapped themselves around each other, hands running over backs, ass, up arms, into hair, anything they could reach. Their mouths opened up, tasting each other, letting each other in, finally.

Eventually they stopped to take a breath, still holding each other tightly, foreheads pressed together, not willing to give up any contact unnecessarily.

"Does this mean the next time we have sex we can actually touch?" John asked, still a bit breathlessly.

Rodney smiled and started kissing John again, pushing him onto his back to show him the answer.


End file.
